“When I first engaged with the aftercare and recovery support offered by Vale Domestic Abuse Services, I was still trying to process everything that had happened to me and my children. The idea of joining group activities felt overwhelming at first. I wasn’t sure if I would feel comfortable sharing my experiences in a group setting. Over time, though, the supportive and welcoming environment helped me feel safe enough to try different activities, and that became a real turning point in my recovery.

One of the most transformative things I took part in was the Own My Life course. Through the programme, I gained a much clearer understanding of coercive and controlling behaviour and began to recognise patterns of abuse in my own experience. It almost felt as though the course had been written about my situation. Having that understanding helped me make sense of what had happened and start rebuilding my confidence. It also helped me realise how much the abuse had affected my children, who had witnessed aspects of the relationship and its aftermath at home.

With this new perspective, I began to approach parenting differently. Understanding the trauma both my children and I had experienced helped me respond with more patience and empathy.

Through the course I also learned practical grounding techniques, such as the 5-4-3-2-1
method for managing overwhelming emotions. I’ve shared these techniques with my children so that when they feel anxious or unsettled, they have simple ways to calm themselves. Being able to pass those tools on to them has been really important for their emotional wellbeing as well as my own.

The wider aftercare programme at Vale Domestic Abuse Services has also played a huge role in my recovery. Wellbeing events, creative projects and peer support groups gave me somewhere safe to go regularly and helped me realise I wasn’t alone. Meeting other women who had experienced similar things helped me rebuild trust and confidence, and it reduced the isolation I had been feeling.

The practical activities made a big difference too. For example, the DIY course gave me the confidence and skills to start rebuilding my home. My children got involved as well, and it meant they could see me gaining confidence and making our house feel like our own space again. My daughter even talks about starting a painting business together when she’s older because she helped me paint the hallway. Seeing that kind of confidence and ambition grow in them has been really special.
Family wellbeing opportunities through ValeDAS have also helped my children directly. Events like the summer retreat and creative workshops allowed them to relax, make friends and just enjoy being children in a safe environment. After everything we’d been through, it meant so much to see them running around, making friends and enjoying themselves again. For me, it was also a chance to step back and breathe, knowing they were safe and cared for. The opportunities are something I just can’t afford to do on my own, so having access to wellbeing and healing opportunities for both me and my kids, is huge.

Looking back, the support I’ve received through aftercare has helped me move from a place of isolation and uncertainty to one where I feel much more confident and stable. That recovery hasn’t just helped me, it has had a huge impact on my children as well. By learning about trauma, using healthier coping strategies and rebuilding our lives together, I feel like I’m helping them process what they’ve been through and giving them the chance to grow up in a safer, more positive environment.”